Saturday, January 26, 2013

I Need A Shot

No shit, Sherlock. Personally I found your little love note to us degrading and insulting.

Seems I can't do anything right for nobody anymore.

I have a dysfunctional love/hate relationship with music. But if I were fired and/or kicked out of my house tomorrow, it would still be there.

So I'm sorry if this causes me to be an imperfect boyfriend or unwilling to suck the right corporate dick to get aHEAD.

I have a show tonight in Central City. There might still be a couple free tickets (and keep an eye out for Feb. 1 flyers, of course) at the following places:

Music-Go-Round (either)
Angelo's (Aurora)
Guitar Center (Denver)

Or get a couple from the band before we head up there.

I'm gonna go down a shot of SoCo and do some last minute laundry...

...and maybe finish composing another intentionally crummy song in my head for my eventual "mainstream" album.

00------33--11--00------00--11--(repeat)...

My feelings are illogical
For something so improbable
Why does my brain fuck with me this way?

...that's all I have so far.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Struggle Of A Not-So-Ordinary Colorado Songwriter

Before I started working weeknights and before BBK, I was a solo man on the open mic scene.  I took my half-baked songs about jerking off and ass-fucking to any open mic I could get to in time.  Usually my luck was shit and I'd end up going last or close to last.  If people hadn't left by then, they knew how much I sucked and went out to take a smoke break.  My definition of a hit was when the number of people I could count on one hand would request a song by name.  This was rather awkward once, when I hung out with a tranny at the last open mic I performed and was subsequently asked to play a song called "Transvestite Whore."  Turns out I should've just kept my foot in my mouth and played the damn song, instead of trying to explain beforehand that it was just a joke based on some Jerry Springer shit and that I have nothing against transgender people (because when I said "how could you not tell," I should've elaborated with "how could you not tell when you're fucking him/her in the ass and there's a set of balls just kinda hanging there").  Fortunately, he/she still gave me a ride home that night, but I digress.  I've been playing guitar and writing songs for almost a decade.  My attempts to release a cult classic album have so far been unsuccessful.  Perhaps my earliest version of a CD release - dropping off a bunch of free CDR's with shitty B&W hand-drawn covers, cut and copied at Kinko's for 9 cents apiece, at places such as Angelo's and Independent Records - was not the brightest marketing strategy.   But I have shipped copies of my older tunes nationwide, and even a couple CD-R's overseas to Great Britain.  Getting to trade albums with a UK artist named Strangest Thing was well worth the shipping cost.  But alas, I have no plans of re-releasing most of the 2003-2008 material anytime soon, since the recordings suck even worse than my current ones.  Maybe I'll re-record a couple "hits," but that's all you'll get from that era besides this...

...somewhere in the interwebs is a 2005 review of my old MySpace page from Jason Heller of Westword that basically callls me a psychotic Satanist and lumps my tunes in with "an avalanche of crap."  I went by a different stage name back then, so if you really wanna find it, you'll have to do a bit of research.

Don't try to tell me everyone has haters.  I'm more aware of that fact than you think
.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Dick-Fill-A



I admit a part of me wants to support Chick-Fil-A.  The chain has some of the best food and customer service in the fast food industry.  Also, the company is known for its generous philanthropy - allow me to explain where some of their philanthropy goes wrong.

If someone believes marriage should be strictly between a man and a woman, that's one thing.  However, in the case of Chick-Fil-A, that belief has translated into financial contributions to anti-gay conservative groups such as Focus On The Family and Eagle Forum.  That means anyone who has bought anything from Chick-Fil-A in the last decade has given money to those groups.  I personally don't want to give FotF and/or similar organizations anymore money.  Ever.

This isn't about what someone believes.  It's about the direction money is traveling.  And that's where the focus should be, because money talks and bullshit walks.  And eventually, the agenda of anti-gay conservatives will have to hit the road.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Knife And The Spoon


Welcome to the official blog of The Knife And The Spoon.  Below you will find links for my other blogs and pages:

Utensils 
ReverbNation
SoundCloud
YouTube